Ballard's Access Guide-alone

dining out alone
There's really not much to dining out alone. Firstly, you have to realize that not everyone is staring at you when you walk in by yourself.

You don't have to "look busy", or engaged in a magazine, on a cel phone, or work from home. Generally, others are absorbed in their food or gabbing away with someone, and they don't even notice you. They may glance up, but generally no one stares or makes rude comments.

Some people like to make use of all the time they have and get some work done while they dine. I personally do not.

This isn't 1960, and if you are a woman, dining out alone has long since been an anomally. Sometimes you might get a host or hostess who may look confused, but that's their problem, not yours.

For me, dining out almost pars with a kind of meditation. I go into a restaurant, I notice the decor, the sound level, the smells, the temperature, if the silverware is clean, how long it takes to be served water, napkins, a bread/chip basket, etc. If these do not please me...I'll leave.

Once I'm seated and have ordered, I become so wrapped up in my own thoughts and the food,
I don't notice people around me or if they are staring at me(not unless it's some obnoxious man who's positioned himself in my path of vision, directly opposite me, so that my eyes will meet his every time I look up). I change my seat if I can so my back will be facing him. Or some lone man sitting at a table will ask me to sit at his table for a drink and sometimes a "no thank you" is not enough. Sometimes I've had to say it 3-6 times before finally yelling, "Leave me alone!". These things have happenned in the less expensive places I've dined in.

Generally, I do not have problems like that and I don't notice anyone looking at me strangely because I'm alone.

Once you get wrapped up in your own thoughts about whatever(I generally think of pleasant things or a project I'm about to commence, like an addition to my website, how I'll organize it, or a song may pop into mind), plus also savoring each mouthful of food you are eating, (I really get into that!!!), and feeling that warm glow that accompanies newly digested food. Then you're no longer dwelling on if others are staring at you or any discomfort you may've had before.

And that's all there is to it. it's pretty simple. I don't think it requires a great amount of confidence in oneself. it's not like it's some big debue on a stage...You're just going to dine out by yourself. You don't need a dining buddy to validate your presence in a restaurant. This misconception is in your own mind. You validate yourself no matter where you are.

I have read dining out alone advise elsewhere online that states restaurants are out to make money and resent a empty chair at a table, and recommends that one should dine out either early or late. But why should I or you care about that? I cannot fathom the idea of rescheduling my eating because of what waiters and management might think. Hey, I eat when I want to eat! And besides, a party of one could turn into a party of 10 in the future. Especially if that person likes the restaurant/cafe' and decides to invite their friends, family or business associates!

Like I've already stated, you validate yourself. Enjoy!

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